Gom is engaged. I found out last night. How do I feel? Well I saw it coming. I'll write more about this but first what led up to me finding out.
I went out last night with uni girls. Decent bars and lots of men. We ended up in my favourite club as it is an Indie Disco type place. Brilliant. I never get to go there as my normal friends don't like it. I love it. And it's always full of really hot men. Anyway, so we were there. I met a few nice men. I sat with a couple outside while I was having a cig and went on to tell them that as there was such a big age difference between him and his brother, he was 40 his brother was 23, and the other siblings were around the same age that he was probably an accident. Yeah. I have a way with the guys don't I? I was only joking with him and he did find it quite amusing. They brought me a drink also.
So, back downstairs and I meet another guy, we talked, we kissed and we had a drink. I don't really remember what happened to him. I don't know if I decided I'd had enough, or if I went to the loo and got distracted on the way back. More dancing with the girls and I meet another guy. I quite liked him. We danced, we kissed, we drank. We left the club went to the bar next door as I thought it would be quieter. He kept asking me to go home with him but I said no. I was a good girl. Also, he was really pissed. And I seemed to be the one who was the one in control. If it was the other way around and I had have been not really knowing what I am doing the bloke would have been seen to be possibly taking advantage of a pissed girl. So, I said we would go to the 24hour place and get soft drinks and woop his ass at pool. As we were queuing to go in he grabbed a guy who was already in there. It turned out to be Gom's ex best mate. My friends boyfriend, Jack.
Turns out he was out in a group with him. Then I got chatting to his mates and they said they were going back to Jack's flat which is a penthouse flat and did I wanna go back with them. At this point the guy I was with had gone and I said why not. I knew Jack and so thought his mates would be ok. It was as we were walking back that we were talking and found out that one of the guys knew Gom quite well and he was telling me how he was all busy planning his wedding. I was like, what? He's engaged. And the guy was like you didn't know?
We walked back holding hands but that was it. He was well fit, but he had a live in girlfriend. He kept trying it on but I was having none of it. I said to him that if I was her and he was my bloke I would be upset by his behaviour. He then went on to tell me about his online girlfriend in Denmark also. Nice guy!
So how am I feeling about all of this. Surprisingly ok. I am going to sound like a bitch now. But...
She is nothing compared to me. I don't like to blow my own trumpet but I am pretty. Ok, overweight but I can change that and I am doing. I have a big personality and know what I want and what I don't. I have aspirations in life and I am doing a Masters so that I can get a meaningful job and do something with my life. I am good fun. People say I am fun to be around and interesting. Now compare this to someone who is not that good looking. As I said before she looks as though there is something not quite right with her. I think she may also be a bit on the podgy side. So I win on looks! Lol. Ok I am a bitch but I am not going to stop.
From what people have said about her she is dull and boring. She has nothing about her and her favourite topic of conversation is what goes on in the City Centre shopping mall's car park. She doesn't have a job that is going anywhere and from what people have said has no aspirations to do anything else. Jack was really slagging her off last night saying how boring she is and he is considering dumping Gom as a friend as he really can't stand LD.
Now the way I feel is. I am not that person. I don't want to be that person and I will never be that person. If that is what Gom wants then we were obviously best off out of it. If that is what is making him happy then let him have it. If she had been drop dead gorgeous and my other friends liked her and she was a different person then I would feel differently. If, she was like me I would feel differently. But she is the total opposite to me.
Ok, I am not with anyone at the moment. But, as you can see from what I have written I am having a whole heap of fun. I spent most of my 20's with Gom. I am enjoying the rest.
Jack was saying last night that I was looking good. He could tell I had lost weight. When Gom and I broke up I was around 19stone. Just not being with him made me lose weight without even trying that much. Jack's friend seemed to think so also. They said they couldn't believe I was with Gom for so long as I am fun, and they couldn't picture us together.
I wasn't supposed to find out Gom was engaged. Gom had told Jack he couldn't even tell his girlfriend Neve incase she told me. Why would he even be bothered? I find it odd. Forget about me and move on.
If I was him and happy with someone else; like he must be if he is getting married to her, then I wouldn't think about his feelings. Why wouldn't he want me to find out? Weird. Or am I just reading too much in to it... please if you have read this far would you comment your thoughts on this.
So I am a husky thing at the moment. I have lost my voice. It's so weird. The past couple of days I was in agony with my throat as of the operation. I think they bruised my throat with the tubes or something. I have been in so much pain with it that I have been in tears. Every time I swallowed it was like someone stabbed me in the neck. The pain isn't as bad now, but I have lost my voice. I have never lost my voice before so I am finding it quite amusing. I was having the piss taken out of me last night.
I had a really good night last night. Even hearing about the engagement didn't ruin it. I am a little upset, who wouldn't be, but I know I am better than her! I really am a bitch aren't I. I sort of feel if that is what he wants and that is what makes him happy I deserve better.
Please comment on this as I would love to hear other peoples views on this!