Monday, 13 June 2011


My friend text me today. She was taken to hospital Saturday night as someone threw a bottle at her and it hit her on the head. Result was her going to the ED. She said what time she was there etc. I didn't really think much of it. Just worried for her as it's a noticeable scar, or it will be when it heals. She kept asking and asking me if things were ok and then suddenly I clicked. I got home from the ED at about 5.30am. She was there at that time. She must have seen me.

So, I keep telling her that things are going great and then I get another message from her

"Are you sure you are ok? I saw you in the ED just before 5. I was about to be treated so couldn't speak to you and boyfriend was with me so didn't want to put you on the spot. I hope you feel you can say if something is wrong".

"Shit". Just what did she see and where? So after about an hour I had made some story up. Hoping she hadn't seen anything. I thought about saying I was there with someone else after a night out but I knew what I was wearing (joggers and a t-shirt) that that wouldn't go down. So I said that I had been sick and there was quite a bit of blood in it. I called NHS Direct and they advised me to go down to the ED. I then made up some story about how it was from my operation and the tubes being in my throat and being sick had caused a small tear. She asked me what had made me sick and I said some kind of allergic reaction. So she asked to what. I racked my brains what I have eaten with her before and am not likely to eat again and I said "clams". She was really questioning me over it. I could tell she doesn't believe me. She knows I self harm. She knows things are pretty shit but I wasn't going to tell her that.

I was worrying that she would have seen me while I was with the paramedics or when I was talking to a nurse when I was on the stretcher. But luckily not. She said she saw me on the phone in the entrance. Weirdly, I had a horrible feeling while I was there and I didn't want to walk through the department to get out so I went round a different corridor. I saw Bitch Nurse but I don't think she saw me. But I had this horrible feeling I didn't want to walk through the waiting area to get out. Turns out I was right. If I had have done she would have probably grabbed me there and asked what was going on and I wouldn't have been able to lie about it.

She kept asking me questions like why I wasn't in the main area. I said I was in a cubicle as I was throwing up and they didn't want me in the waiting area throwing up in front of other people as not nice for them. I said they gave me anti sickness pills while I was there which worked and told to go to my GP if I have any more problems.

I don't like lying but I am not prepared to tell anyone. As I said before I wouldn't give them my last name as I didn't want it on my medical records. I am glad she didn't approach me and it wasn't earlier as someone may have noticed and asked her what my last name was. It was a close call really. But I don't want it on my records. I am not going to tell Sam about it even. I can't see the point!

Bed time for me now. Another day of boring lectures tomorrow!


No comments: