Sunday, 19 June 2011

Maybe The Start Of Something New...

I like him. I had date number 2 tonight. I am so awkward though. I don't know how to be. I wanted to kiss him at the end. Seemingly he wanted to kiss me. I got a message from him after saying he had a great night and he wasn't sure if I liked him or not as he really wanted to kiss me but didn't wanna make it awkward for me in case I didn't like him. He is nice to hang out with and he makes me laugh and he is quite fancyable. I do quite like him.

So problems now are that

1) I have totally ran out of money now and so can't really afford to do much if anything. I don't like guys paying for me, I like to go halves on things.

2) I start placement this week. Which means a lot of hard work and very little time.

3) My scars. And at the moment the cut. It's looking infected again. I have a load of antibiotics from previous times of infection so am wondering if I should take a course of those. I don't want to end up in hospital again. Also, how do I explain to him about them? Will he believe fallen on glass coffee table? Am I kidding myself over this? Also, is now the right time for me to be going in to something new. Part of me feels it's unfair on him and on anyone when obviously I am not fully over my ex. But maybe me being ok with him being engaged means I am over him? And, the way I feel about Vince. I feel like a teenager when he texts me.

I have a couple of reservations about him. One of them being that he is the same age as me. Ideally I would like someone older. I think this is because I want to settle down soon. I want kids in the next few years. Obviously I have not had this talk with him, as we have been on 2 dates. But we have both said we like each other and we want to see each other again. So, I think there is possible potential. I don't want to end up in a relationship with someone who then says they don't want kids for another 10 years. I could see me having fallen for them and then not having kids until I am way in to my 30's. I don't want that. So what do I do if I am in that situation...stop taking the pill and not tell him? But I suppose, I don't know that much about him yet to be making those judgements, and doing that to someone would be awful!

So, could this be the start of something?

Can anyone suggest free date ideas please!


1 comment:

La-reve said...
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