Friday, 10 June 2011


Yet again I am disappointed. I don't know why I bother.

It's my birthday in a couple of weeks. So, I thought I know, it's summer it will be nice to have a BBQ and have my friends over. I was thinking about others in that I didn't want people to spend loads of money and I don't have money so thought it would be nice. So I make a Facebook event and invite friends from Uni and friends who I have known a while. Out of about the 25 people I invited 8 people said they would come. And then, when you have people who say they will come they never do.

What bothers me is that I make an effort to go to other people's things. I have been away usually once a year for someones birthday which costs me a fortune. And it usually means re arranging other things. But it seems as though no one wants to make the effort for me. People have already arranged to be going away that weekend (when they know fully well it's my birthday and they are supposed to be my friend). Bloody hell. I sound a bit young don't I?

I know I shouldn't be upset. After all I am going to be 27. People have plans etc. But what gets me and what upsets me is I give over 6 weeks notice that I am planning on doing something. And then they go and make other plans. And, if it was another of their birthday they always change their plans etc to fit in around. It's not like I am asking much. Bring a bottle of wine and maybe about 10quid in taxis. £15. It's not exactly the £100 and more that it costs to go somewhere for the night. I feel quite let down by them.

Any way. Because I always end up getting upset by my birthday, hence why I made sure I was away for it last year, I have decided to cancel what I had planned and have asked my brothers and my mum if we can go out for a meal together. But I am not even sure if my brother will as he is moving house the next day.

Not family related but what is it with friends. I thought I was a nice person. I thought I was a good friend. I do good things for other people. I know it's childish but I can't help but be upset by it.

I am more upset by this than I am by finding out Gom was planning his wedding to LD. Either that says I am closer at getting over Gom or I am being childish about this whole thing with friends.

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