I know I've got to do it. I suppose he needs to know the full picture of what's going on.
So tomorrow at the therapy session I'm going to tell G I've been making myself sick after eating.
I am a bit worried if it could lead to other things. But I suppose I'll have to take my chances.
I know it's not the best of habits. But it is self harm to me. A newly established one over the last few months.
This week I did it 3times. And the pattern emerged that I would do as much as I could. Drink a load of water. Then I'd get my needles out and blood let. The last couple of times quite a bit. I think the last time I hit an artery as when I took the needle out it wasn't just pouring out but shooting out.
It did worry me a bit. I suppose it's dangerous as with the purging left me light headed. What if I'd have passed out?
So tomorrow we'll be talking about that. In quite nervous. I've never mentioned it to anyone. I kind of wish at times he was a female. If I had still had my cpn I would have told her. It's sometimes easier to talk to a female about things like that.
Wish me luck.