So I went to the hospital yesterday morning and the doctor was horrible and incompetent. First off he was looking at the wrong x-ray. I told him that was one of my leg and not of my arm. So he then looks at the date closes it and clicks another one of my leg. I think when it clearly says femur on it it indicates it's my leg. There was only one that said humerus and that should have indicated that that was the one he needed to look at. Being as though the needle was in my arm and all that.
I can still feel it in there. I think it's on a nerve so I get pins and needles in my hand and pain all down my arm. There are some days when something as simple as putting a top on or seat belt on is unbearable. Other days it is just a twinge. I told him all this and he said it could perhaps just be a coincidence. So I was quite abrupt with him and said well it's a bloody good coincidence that it hurts exactly where it is and from when it happened. He then was saying how he knew someone with something much bigger in her and it wasn't causing pain. It was as though he didn't believe me and couldn't be arsed. I think as soon as he knew I self harmed he treated me like shit.
He was saying they could have a go at getting it but there were no guarantees that it would work. He then went on saying how it would leave a scar. I'm not bothered about scars. As long as not my face and as long as I haven't done it. Then I have a reasonable excuse for it. If I am the one who did it then that's when it bothers me.
In the end I said I would rather them have a go at getting it and fail rather than me have it in me thinking it could possibly come out. Especially when it hurts also. I think they will be able to get it. It can't be that hard. It's not as though it's small is it?
So in the end he said he would add me on the waiting list and as though as an after thought said....we will have to put you to sleep though. The way he said it was sort of spiteful. I really didn't like him and hope it's not him who does the operation.
So yesterday I had quite a full day really.
I really felt like crap after the appointment.