Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Getting Worse.

So even with my GP saying that he will support me. Basically I am going to have to tell uni everything. Including how I tried to kill myself and that I am self harming. Sam wanted to make sure everything is told to them. She is going to check up and get confirmation I have told uni. So being as though I have to tell them I may as well take her with me. Even if I tell uni I am fine to work. They are going to want reports etc from people involved which will take time which means being pulled from placement. If I was them and I was being told that stuff I wouldn't let me continue.

It's just a whole bunch of shit.

I have told me mum tonight. Not everything but that I had been seeing a counsellor every week and had seen a psychiatrist a few times. She said she was glad I was as she knew I had issues that I wouldn't talk to them about. She said I can only hope for the best. At first she was quite naive to the whole thing saying well it's not as though I'm going to attack these people. She didn't quite get the whole safeguarding thing. I said they agree with me on that but it's more than that. There's the neglect side that I could neglect to do something important as of the way I am. Once she understood she was supportive of me but trying to get more info out of me about what I discuss in counselling. I have had to tell her as it looks like I am going to be around the house a hell of a lot more over coming months.

I just feel as though I have been defeated.

A lot more went on but I wanted peoples comments. I will blog more tomorrow once I have had chance to sleep on the whole thing and put some order in to the jumble of my brain. I have to tell my line manager tomorrow that there is a chance I wont be going back there and that I need to take the rest of the week off until I have spoken to uni on Monday.

But for now I needed to get out the initial stuff. And ask, how do you tell people you tried to kill yourself and not come across in a negative light? Please comment on this anyone who reads.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

god id love to know the answer to that. I mean, how do you tell anyone anything about mental health difficulty without them automatically thinking badly of you. sometimes without even meaning to. Guess we just have to hope that the more people know about mental illness, the less stigma there is. I hope you got on okay hun x