So you may have wondered where I've been for the last couple of weeks. Well currently am on a medical ward waiting to go back to psych hospital for a couple of weeks.
A couple of weeks ago I did something which landed me in a coma on a ventilator in the intensive care unit for a week. A week on the ICU. Then 3nights on the high dependency unit and now a normal medical ward. So yes, I've been quite ill.
And I came very close. And the snippets I do remember were scary as hell. Waking up with tubes down your throat paralysed. Then when the tubes came out still not being able to breathe and them putting you on special o2 masks that force it in to you.
So my CPN came today to see me and she advised me to go back in informally. She said she'd be happier if I was there and that while she wasn't going to recommend a mental health act assessment I had to really think about what I wanted and what I need. And at the end of the day she's right.
They have decided that my medication obviously isn't working and to stop it. So take me off it all together. I was given the option of lamongatrine or what ever it's called but I've seen what it can do to you. So I thought if I'm not going to have medication and after this experience I've just had I may be better in hospital.
Will wait and see. It's not what I want but it's probably what I need at the moment.
Wish me luck!!!!