Monday 28 January 2013

Still No Phone Call

Well, I still haven't had a phone call from my CPN or Dr. They could have called Friday or today and they haven't. I am quite relieved by this as I don't really want to have to go see anyone about what I have been experiencing as I don't want to end up back in hospital.

But, at the same time I think it highlights that the team aren't doing a great job. The psychologist said he was going to contact the Dr about the experiences I had been having on Friday. Maybe he hasn't been in and that is why I have not been contacted. But the psychologist seems to think I need medicating. I said that I was already on Quetiapine which is an anti-psychotic so I didn't think they would change anything and he said he still wanted to speak with the Dr anyway.

I am not bothered that they have not contacted me anyway. I am going to stop taking my meds as I don't think they actually do anything for me. I am on a mood stabiliser which although has stopped the highs (which I liked) I still get the depressions. I am on an anti-depressant, yet look at me now. And again I am on an anti-psychotic, it's not like that is doing any good for me is it. I hate taking all the meds I am on. It's like they rule my life and I can't be doing with it. Not going to say anything to anyone as again I don't want them hauling me in to hospital. But I don't think it will make much difference anyway. It might stop me sleeping 14 hours a night, feeling like a zombie the next day and eating half the daily intake of the food in China each day. I need to stop taking them. I am not going to be ruled by them.

Put application in on a flat today. I am getting closer.

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