Phone Call From CPN

So she called me today. She informed me that she would be calling my GP an telling him not to prescribe me any more medication until I hand over what I have. I don't know why I didn't lie. She said she had spoke to the psychologist about what I had said to him last week about having a stash. So she called me today and asked if what I had was prescription meds. So I said yes. She asked me if was what I had been prescribed and I said yeah. So she asked what. So I said I had some Lofepramine, Quetiapine and Metformin. So she said she is going to tell him not to prescribe me any more and to also have my meds put on to weekly prescriptions not monthly. I should have just said I had a stash of paracetamol or something and nothing that had been prescribed to me.

I came home and looked through what I have got. I am going to hand over all the Metformin, there are over 100 pills. I worked out I can probably get rid of some of the Quetiapine. I'm just going to say I didn't have as much as I thought I had and that I thought I had some of the lofepramine but I don't. If I hand over those then hopefully it will get them off my back a bit and I should still have enough to do what I want to do with them next week. My other option is lying and saying I have thrown them away myself, but I somehow think they are not going to take my word for it. I am not going out my way to give them to her though. She can come get them from me. I'm not traipsing all over town to go to the hospital for 5 minutes. If she wants me to go to the hospital I am just going to say I will get rid of them myself.

She asked me if I wanted to see her earlier than our appointment in 2 weeks and then again for that appointment. I said not. I gave my reasoning as I see the OT on Monday, Psychologist next Thursday and then her the following week so I have enough support. I obviously didn't tell her that hopefully I won't be around then anyway. So I am not going to be taking up slots in her diary that could be used from someone who could actually benefit from her help.

I am so pissed off with myself about this. I should have put more thought in to what would happen if she were to call me. I was put on the spot and couldn't think of a lie quick enough. I should have realised after I had been honest with the psychologist about it and he said he was going to speak to her that I would probably be getting a phone call. It's been a week since I have seen him though and I suppose I thought if it was going to happen it would have by now. Last Friday I was kind of expecting a call from her. It didn't come and it went out my mind. So I really wasn't expecting it today. Grrrrrr.