I have realised tonight how great she is and just how much I am going to miss her. I have been holding back the tears all night, even when people around me were getting teary. But not me. But I have got home and I can not stop crying. She means so much to me. She has been there through thick and thin. She may not have said what I have always wanted her to say, but she has been right. She is one of those people who I can actually let go with and let myself be me around.
Before I got ill, I was a very outgoing person. Said what I felt, did what I wanted and acted how I wanted. Well I say that. I wasn't, but I wanted to. Around her I could. I have said that to her before. That around her I could be who I wanted to be and I knew that she wouldn't care as she was one of my closest friends and I didn't need to reserve myself. I could be that outgoing, loud, noisy, I could be me. That me who I am not even a shadow of any more.
I am really going to miss her. I hate to say it but I wish she wasn't going.