My feelings are getting stronger. The urge to cut is massive. I'm feeling low and don't want to do anything. I'm worried I'm going to end up in a depression again. I've not talked to anyone as there isn't anyone on shift I feel like I can talk to.
My CPN, Beth, is coming tomorrow but I feel she is quite negative so I can't talk to her. So I'm dreading her coming.
They are talking about discharge planning now, which, one one hand is brilliant, I want out of here. On the other there is something in me which doesn't want to as I'm terrified. I'm so worried things will get worse for me or will go back to how it was before. I'm so reluctant to talk about this with anyone incase it has impact on my discharge. So I feel a bit stuck.