Thursday, 25 October 2012

Back On Psych Ward!

And how am I feeling...? Shit. I don't want to be here. I want to self discharge go out and self harm. I want to ligate. I want to cut. I want to punch someone. Who? I'm not really sure.

But. Trying to remember my rational thinking. This is for the best.

I'm just going to come out with it next Thursday when I see my psychologist and ask him to tell me what to do other than group work. I can't stand this. Maybe I'll ask him for more info on DBT even though is group work. I'm going to make more of an effort with mindfulness stuff. Does anyone else do that? Does it work?

Please help?!!

2 comments:

one brave duck said...

i haven't done a full dbt course, but i have had a little exposure to it when i was in hospital. and it really, really helped. and i did some group work on trauma related stuff, and that helped too, although not in the expected ways... it's hard to explain... i felt like i found my voice, and i no longer had to use suicide and self-harm to express my pain... i was learning to use words... as for mindfulness, about 90% of it didn't work for me but i really like the guided meditation/relaxation stuff... sometimes when i can't sleep and my mind is in a despairing/frustrated loop of "it will never get better" i put on the CD and it calms me. my advice is TRY EVERYTHING... you never know which tools might turn out to be helpful... thinking of you, c.

Golden Psych said...

Thanks for that. I think I'm just gonna basically say to him help me and see what he says. I really don't want to do group stuff. I'm worried about how could affect my career and I don't like the idea of my personal thoughts being shared. Not when it takes me so long to build a relationship with a professional. How can I sit there and risk judgement from a none professional who are not bound by same code of ethics and confidentiality. It took me ages to get anywhere with Sam and aids with the psychologisj. I have tried the guided ones also and I do prefer them. Maybe I could work it that way.

I really don't know what to do to get through this.