Saturday, 2 April 2011


I'm in quite a lot of debt and I don't know what to do.

I'm in quite a bit of mess with my finances, currently I owe

£1500 overdraft
£2000 overdraft which has defaulted
£1000 overdraft which has defaulted
£3000 credit card which has defaulted
£600 pay day loans.

I don't really know what to do. I want to ignore it. But I know I can't. I get my student bursary of £2000 in a couple of weeks but £600 is coming off that straight away as of the pay day loans. I can't afford it. So that's going to end up defaulting. I can't work at the moment as I am up to my eyes in uni work. I can't afford to have this £600 taken from it as the bursary needs to last me 4 months. I need to put petrol in the car, I need to live.

I keep pushing the problem aside but it is really getting me down. Part of the reason I got pay day loans was cos I thought I'm gonna kill my self soon anyway so it's not as though it matters. I also owe my mum near on £2000. I feel sick thinking about it.

I think I am going to have to have my bursary paid into a new account with no overdraft facilities. Get what's called a debt relief order. But the thing that worries me about that is if it will affect the people I live with getting credit. They run a business from the address and don't want to mess that up for them.

I don't know why I am so bad with money. I go mad. I can;t keep it. I can't budget. I go on sprees going a bit mad and buying things I really don't need or want. I spend it for the sake of spending it.

I'm kinda freaked by it all! And I don't know what to do.


catherine said...

you know... overspending is a sign of being manic... esp if you do it when you are running around like crazy, feeling a bit over the top anyhow. just sayin' . . .

Golden Psych said...

I don't want to say to them... you know what I think it's this. I agree that there are more traits of bi-polar than PD. But I am not going to tell them their job. The stupid online quizes which look for things like that come up with that also. But I don't want to go in to an appointment having consulted Dr Google as I will just be laughed at. I know the paranoia is not PD and can be more bi-polar. I suspect it, but I wont tell them as they wont listen.They'll then just label me as munchausens on top of the other labels they have given.

I don't think it would make much difference anyway in treatment. I am now on Quetapine which can be used in bi-polar also. So dont think anything would actually change. And I feel if that was to be diagnosed it's more of a reason for hospital. Which you already know how I feel about that. xxxx

catherine said...

i know what you mean about dr. google. (very funny btw). i self diagnosed with ptsd but didnt' want to say anything to my shrink in case she thought i was overreacting. as it turned out i ended up in the hospital and another shrink diagnosed me with it so it was all sorted in the end.

good luck with the new meds. hope they work for you. sound promising.