Today I have my psychology appointment. I don't really know what to expect. It's the first Schema Therapy appointment. So I am feeling quite nervous about it. Also, they are having a meeting about me today. The consultant psychiatrist, my OT, my CPN and my psychologist. I hate that they are all meeting about me and I wonder what will be said. But, it is not something that I would want to be at.
I hate all of this. I hate that I have a mental health team. I hate that I need it. I hate myself for being like this.
I wonder if he will have read my notes about what has been going on in the last few weeks. Last time I saw him I downplayed what had happened. He will have probably have had access to my notes and will know what has been going on in the last few weeks. How much I have been drinking, how I have been at hospital etc etc.
I didn't sleep last night as I was feeling so anxious about it all.
I am thinking that this is going to be awful. I really am dreading it.