Today I have my psychology appointment. I don't really know what to expect. It's the first Schema Therapy appointment. So I am feeling quite nervous about it. Also, they are having a meeting about me today. The consultant psychiatrist, my OT, my CPN and my psychologist. I hate that they are all meeting about me and I wonder what will be said. But, it is not something that I would want to be at.
I hate all of this. I hate that I have a mental health team. I hate that I need it. I hate myself for being like this.
I wonder if he will have read my notes about what has been going on in the last few weeks. Last time I saw him I downplayed what had happened. He will have probably have had access to my notes and will know what has been going on in the last few weeks. How much I have been drinking, how I have been at hospital etc etc.
I didn't sleep last night as I was feeling so anxious about it all.
I am thinking that this is going to be awful. I really am dreading it.
About Me
- Kat Moss
- Well, what can I say without giving too much away about who I am. I suppose firstly I should say why I am writing a blog. It's for my own benefit really. I like looking back through old things I have written about and it makes me rememeber it. I have an awful memory and it's good to look back and see how I felt about something or even something happening. I used to keep a diary when I was younger but fear of it being found and also the amount of time it took me to write in it meant that I didn't really write in it that often. But, it was good to look back on things and see how things were at the time. I don't know how many people, if any will read this. I would like to think people would read it and I can remain totally anonymous. If I can't be honest on here then where can I be. No one knows me on here, no one knows I keep a blog so I have that security.
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