Sunday, 2 June 2013

How Would You Feel?

I don't know how to feel about this.

I have just been on the dating site and I had an email pop up. He looked like a nice guy and his profile read well. So I opened the email and it basically said you look really familiar to me. So I sent one back saying he looked familiar also and what did he do. He had said he worked nights so I had an image of him being a police man who had come in to contact with me or someone who works on the psych wards.

He then emailed me back saying he knew my friend who was in one of my pictures with me. He is the guy she was seeing last year and went a bit crazy on her when she ended it with him. She had warned me of him and told me what profile he was going by at the time, but until he told me his name it didn't click.

Anyway, he really started slagging my friend off saying all this horrible stuff about her and was being quite mean. He also said how at the time they were seeing each other that I was ill. I was quite non committal and said I couldn't remember. He then said yeah you were in .... psych hospital. So that really rattled me. He was then saying things like I would be careful around her as she has told me things about you that I wouldn't want anyone to know about me etc etc etc... going on about how she can't be trusted and is fake and wants people to believe things that aren't true.

I don't want to get in to a massive conversation with him. But part of me is wondering what she has told him and I do feel a little betrayed by it.

I have just had another email after I sent one back saying that I didn't know what he knew but I understood that at the time they were a couple and it was pretty normal to discuss things with your partner when your friend is going through something major. He has sent me an email back along the lines of telling me about some of the self harm I did. While he has actually got some of it wrong (he said I tried to eat my phone which never happened, but I did swallow things but I don't know how she actually knew that), he has got the gist of it. So I feel a bit betrayed by how much she has discussed with him.

I do get that when you are in a relationship with someone you would talk to them about your friends, especially something as big as that. And she was a good friend to me, making the effort to come visit me, and   I know she worries about me as if she has not had contact with me for a couple of days and she has seen that I have not had any activity on facebook she worries and contacts one of my brothers to see if I am ok. If I wasn't important to her, she wouldn't bother would she?

But it has really rattled me. I think some of it is because I never met this guy, to me he is just random person who emailed me but then he knows so much about me. Something I like to keep hidden from people as I don't like who I am and what I do. Yet, here is this total stranger who knows that I self harm, have tried to kill myself and was in hospital for a period of time.

How would it make you feel? I can't help but be upset but I am not sure who exactly I am upset with. He is obviously still bitter about their relationship ending and I wonder if he is doing what he is doing to try and come between my friend and me. But it has made me have my doubts. It really has. I would class this girl as one of my closest friends, one of the friends who I do confide in. Yet, I am questioning whether or not I can trust her now. He's made me do that. I don't like that.

I am probably being totally irrational here aren't I?

Please give me some advice or say something to make me feel better.


Anonymous said...

Hi gp I would seriously doubt this guys motives your friend has proven herself to beva good friend this guy is nobody hes probably trying to get revenge through you x

Willfindhope said...

I can understand you'd be bothered by it, I'd be too. I think you should talk to your friend about it so she can explain where she's coming from.