Monday, 18 July 2011

Psychiatrist Appointment.

Went to see Dr T this morning. And I am kinda pissed off kinda puzzled. Being pissed off after appointments with him is pretty standard. He asks me what I want, I tell him and he knocks me back. Why not just tell me what's going to happen.

He asked how things had been and I said they hadn't changed drastically but there had been a little change but I didn't know if this was due to pills or because things had changed. I said I would like to increase the dose of the Quetiapine. My theory being that if changes were due to medication then increasing the dose would increase how I feel. At first he knocked me back saying he wasn't going to do that. I said why I thought it may be worth doing it and in the end he agreed to put the dose up to 400mg from 300mg. He said he wouldn't increase it any more as any higher would see more side affects and he wants to keep it at a therapeutic dose (what ever that is) and he said because I am not psychotic he said he wouldn't give me a dose which is to treat psychosis. Which is fair enough. I have never said or felt that I have psychosis.

He asked me why I went to see him and I said because I was told to and for medication. He said usually people were only under their service for about a year and then they went on to a recovery team. He said that was more for people with strong diagnosable disorders. So he said he would be looking at referring me back to my GP. I feel he hasn't actually done anything and since I have been under him since the beginning of the year I don't feel as though anything has changed. So again, it feels like I have been labeled as untreatable and just being turfed back to where I came from.

I mentioned I had suicidal thoughts and he didn't ask about them. So I didn't elaborate anymore. I couldn't see the point when he just discredits my feelings. I told him how I had been seeing Sam since before Xmas and that I hadn't really seen any improvement in how I am feeling and what is there. He kept going on about how it would be something that makes me self harm. I disagreed with him. Why does there need to be a reason. And he was telling me how I wouldn't be getting veins where I was self harming. I disagreed with him also on that saying that all the sites that I blood let is where they have put cannulas in before so I knew there were veins there and that they way it bled gave it away that it was a vein. He said not. I left it at that. It's as though he wants to challenge me and say I am wrong on everything. It's as though every thing I say is wrong in his eyes.

He just makes me so angry and pissed off.

I think when I am discharged in a couple of months will be my time to leave Sam also. I don't want to go to the counselling anymore. It's obviously not working for me. I find writing on here a lot more therapeutic than counselling. Also, I feel less restricted on here. I can say what I want and not feel stupid. Sometimes speaking about my thoughts out loud I feel really stupid. It's like voicing them makes me mad. Like when I was talking about the paranoia that people were following me it felt so stupid saying it out loud. Does anyone else get that?

I don't think there is anything major in my past that would cause how I am now. It's just the way it is.

I will be glad to get away from that Psychiatrist anyway. He hasn't exactly helped and he just pisses me off. Also, as I have said before the only reason I go is so they don't section me. It will be nice to have that freedom and not feel as though evidence is being gathered against me.

17 comments:

Kristie said...

I just want to say how sad I feel for you that your pdoc isn't helping you. Infact, he is being a really negative experience for you. (I hope that makes sense. I don't normally comment because words aren't my friends!)

Pandora said...

What an utter knobend. You're well shot of him - though I would ask your GP (before you're officially discharged) if it is possible to see someone else in Psychiatry. As far as I know, you have a right to a second opinion, and this dickhead seems to have no clue what he's doing, so it might not be the worst idea in the world? Organisations such as Rethink or Mind are usually good at advocacy in these circumstances, too.

Whatever the case, though, good riddance to this bloke. I'm sorry you've had to put up with him and his crap.

Anonymous said...

I love to surf and my initial source for information is the blogs which have always helped me in my education. This blog is one of them.
faith quotes

Musafir said...

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information? It is extremely helpful and beneficial to your readers.
Drake quotes

Anonymous said...

I have been visiting various blogs for my research work. I have found your blog to be quite useful. Keep updating your blog with valuable information.
marilyn monroe quotes , quotes on change , coco chanel quotes

Anonymous said...

I have been visiting various blogs for my research work. I have found your blog to be quite useful. Keep updating your blog with valuable information.
marilyn monroe quotes , quotes on change , coco chanel quotes

Anonymous said...

Generally I do not learn from posts on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very pressured me to check out and I did so! Your writing style has amazed me. Thank you, quite nice article.
i miss you quotes , quotes about liars , confidence quotes

Black Sifat said...

Thanks for posting this informative article. I haven’t any word to appreciate this post.Really i am impressed from this post. The person who creates this post it was a great human. Thanks for shared this with us.
quotes about changes , facebook status , Love quotes

Blood Diamond said...

I have to admit this is a great article, I have been looking around for some thing like this for a quite a while, I will be back for more, thanks.
Quotes about love , Birthday wishes , cute quotes

Anonymous said...

I have been reading all the replies here, i had a great deal of info, some significant most are not. But i shall say it very active page.
best facebook status , funny statuses , funny facebook quotes

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I sound like I’m arguing, when I’m actually not. I just have a way of putting my posts stronger than intended.It’s easier to keep out of the conversation and not take the chance of being misunderstood.
best facebook statuses , quotes for facebook status , funny facebook statuses

Anonymous said...

The thoughts are very well laid out and it was refreshing to read. I was able to find the information that I was looking for. I just wanted to leave a comment as a token of appreciation. Thanks for sharing this on the Net.
nicki minaj quotes , quotes for facebook , Lil Wayne quotes

Anonymous said...

Excellent insight into a fascinating topic, thanks for sharing this with us all. Please continue to contribute further information, I look forward to the prospect.
facebook statuses , cute quotes , valentines day quotes

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love learning more on this topic. If possible, as you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more information?
funny facebookstatus ,facebook status , marilyn monroe quotes , Birthday quotes

PERSONAL said...

Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenter here ! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained ! I’m sure you had fun writing this article.
love quotes , quotes about love , quotes on love , quotes love

parlin joy said...

experience in knowing about the various film events.That is really helpful for the people to spend our time This post is very useful for the people in knowing about the great events.It is a finest of all the in a great manner to make it everything useful.
best quotes , funny facebook status , teamwork quotes , gossip girl quotes ,

parlin joy said...

Really I'm impressed out of this post…The one that created this post can be a genius and learns how to keep your readers connected..Thank you for sharing this with us. I uncovered it informative and interesting. Excited for much more updates.
broken heart quotes , john lennon quotes , philosophical quotes ,