I'm just not looking forward to Xmas this year. What do I have to look forward to. Actually I was the same last year. Xmas just no longer does it for me. Last year I had a boyfriend though, someone Else's family I could escape to. You see my family like to drink. Not just a couple but far too much that results in arguments and broken things. For the past few years I have been able to escape it all. I used to stay with his parents Xmas eve, wake up with them and do presents and then leave him with his family all day and then I would come back to mine. Do presents and dinner and then go back to his house in the evening. Perfect.
I like a drink too but not so much that I can't play games etc. Xmas should be about playing board games etc. Not drinking so much that arguments start and falling asleep.
I said last year to my boyfriend at the time that we should go on holiday over Xmas as I really didn't enjoy it last year. It's all too much. It's noisy and just annoying. The run up to Xmas gets me also. The shops get stupidly busy, people get annoying etc etc etc. Then there is people who put their decorations up really early...why??? As I drive around and from what I have seen by some of my friends on facebook people already have their decorations up. If it were up to me I wouldn't bother this year, I didn't last year either. But I live with my parents and my mum will want a tree etc. I can't see the point. I wouldn't actually be bothered if Xmas was cancelled this year. This year it will be even more pathetic. There will only be 4 of us for dinner! Some dinner that will be. I have said to my Mum that she shouldn't bother going to the effort of doing a dinner and we should go out somewhere. But then there's the issue with my Dad and he wont want to do that and we must all keep him happy.
I have my second nephew due just before Xmas and that's great. I am looking forward to meeting him. But because of the timing that newbie my brother and his partner want a quiet one with just her family and them. I don't blame them. For the past 4 years she has had to put up with my mad family. She's going to be knackered so why should she have to put up with the moodiness etc. We went to their house last year and it was lovely. But this year it's just my parents and me and my other brother. Who hasn't properly spoken to my Dad since a family holiday in August which went tits up. So you can see the fun I am bound to have there. I am considering actually getting a shift and working Xmas!!!! But then that would just leave the 3 of them.
I think if it wasn't for the fact that newbie will be making his arrival shortly I would have badgered someone in to going away somewhere hot. I would spend Xmas day by a pool/in the pool reading. The fact that I don't have a boyfriend doesn't help things either. Is it bad though that it's not him I will miss this year it's the idea of him and having somewhere else to escape to. Who am I kidding? Of course I miss him. I think about him most of the time even though I have not actually seen him in nearly 8 months! He is with someone else now and has been with her since April time so it must be love. We were not good for each other and I do want him to be happy...just not this soon. But I keep having images of his new girlfriend sitting around playing board games with his family in my spot. Her there Xmas morning opening presents with them all, going to the panto with them. I want to hate her. I don't like her I know that. Well I don't as I have never met this girl. She could be lovely for all I know...I have heard on the grapevine she is quite dull though and this is from 2 different sources. I know I couldn't ever get back with GOM. Not now, too much has happened and I know that I would be doing so for the wrong reasons and if we did we would only break up again when we hit a rough patch. It could never last between us. Also, I have too much pride; there is only so many times you can go crying on your friends and families shoulders about him.
So, cancel Xmas please. Or put me in a coma from now until Jan 7th when everything returns to normal. I don't like new year either. Why does everyone feel the need to go out and force them selves in to having a great time and spending a fortune as everywhere puts their prices up, you spend ages queuing to get in to crap places as everywhere is packed. You also have to pay a cover charge on these crap places. A taxi home costs more than double what it usually does and then you are queuing a life time for that also. So Bahhhhhh Humbug to it all!!!