I am not sure how it happened. I have no recollection of the assessment and no memory of getting here. But, a week ago I ended up on another section 2. I was supposed to see G last Friday, but I cancelled as I didn't think it would be helpful as I couldn't put any order to my thoughts. But then, at around 6pm last Friday night there was a knock at my door and G was standing there. I think my words were "what the fuck are you doing here"? I vaguely remember him saying he was worried and wanted to make sure I was ok and him saying they were coming to do an assessment that evening. But, I can't remember anything else.
The last week has been awful. I don't really know what is going on. I have ran off twice and ended up in the local river twice. It has become something of an obsession. I am putting on an act. I am ok, I am ok, I am ok. If I say it enough to them they may believe me. Hey, if I say it enough, I may believe it myself. Like in this song
I feel like I am high. But, I have the negative thoughts. I feel really weird. I have never felt like this before.