Friday, 15 August 2014

Struggling In Hospital

It's my 4th night here now. Still really struggling. Been swallowing things as well. I feel the need to do something worse. I've taken medication but the urge is still there.

My normal medication has been changed. I'm no longer going to be on Quetiapine. Instead, I'm going to be on haloperidol 3x a day at 5mg. It really works for me as prn so hopefully it will help. I've also had the mood stabiliser increased. So hopefully it will help me.

The ward is quiet and settled which is good.

Despite being in hospital still having major thoughts of ending it. And yesterday I snuck off home to see if the medication I ordered had arrived. I'm beginning to think I've been done on this. I need to email the company. It's the same one I ordered Quetiapine from a few months back and that was real and came. So don't know what's occurring there?!

For now though. I'm just going to have to thy and smoke through it.

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