The thoughts are very strong. I am struggling to contend with them. I am not sure if I should call Crisis Team as I am not sure if there is anything that they would be able to do. They would tell me to distract myself, do something nice for myself. I have tried to distract myself. I have done nice things for myself. I've had a really nice treat dinner. Loads of veg, Yorkshire pudding and beef in red wine. I am having a bit of a chocolate craving, but I don't want to ruin everything by having chocolate. I will end up feeling bad if I do. Also, I don't have any chocolate in and would mean going to the local shop and I don't really want to give them my business being as though I now know that it is owned by the nightmare neighbour.
The thoughts have been there a few days, but they have been getting worse. They are becoming more frequent and stronger. I have started to think what I would do. But, there is still that ambivalence there. Well, I think there is. I am having some doubts. So that means I can't do anything. I won't do anything. Not while there is doubt. I need to make sure I don't drink too much while I feel like this because that is when I will end up acting on the impulse.
I think maybe I will call crisis team. See what they say.