I'm so bloody anxious and on edge tonight. I must have smoked about 20 cigs in the space of a few hours. I don't know what's got in to me. I can't sit still and the urges are massive but I am doing all I can to avoid doing anything. I feel sick and having chest pains because of it. It's horrible. I need something. But I don't have anything. I really could do with some PRN. In hospital I never used to ask for it unless I felt I couldn't deal with things and now I feel is one of those times that I would have asked for it. Other times it was forced on me when they felt I needed it, one time just for crying! IM'd and restrained for crying. Ridiculous!
I thought writing may help but it isn't. I can't make my brain function enough to be coherent or string anything of any use together.
This will probably be another night of no sleep. Bloody brilliant!
About Me
- Kat Moss
- Well, what can I say without giving too much away about who I am. I suppose firstly I should say why I am writing a blog. It's for my own benefit really. I like looking back through old things I have written about and it makes me rememeber it. I have an awful memory and it's good to look back and see how I felt about something or even something happening. I used to keep a diary when I was younger but fear of it being found and also the amount of time it took me to write in it meant that I didn't really write in it that often. But, it was good to look back on things and see how things were at the time. I don't know how many people, if any will read this. I would like to think people would read it and I can remain totally anonymous. If I can't be honest on here then where can I be. No one knows me on here, no one knows I keep a blog so I have that security.
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