Vietnam

I am just reading through my old blog about when I was travelling. I will transfer it all over to here at some point but I just had to copy and paste this that I had just read that I had written. It made me smile remembering it.

1) Who says you can't get as much on a motorbike as in a car...


- I have seen up to 5 people on one motorbike... a kid standing in front of the driver, the driver, his wife, another child and a babe in arms. Yup...the new family vehicle. My tour guide to the tunnels said it is law that you have to wear a helmet and usually everyone does, but it is also the law that you can have 2 adults and one child (under the age of 6) on one bike....he did say that the police usually tend to forget this law.

2) A motorbike is as good as a van with a roof rack...

- I've seen it all. Today alone I have seen

a) the passenger carrying a car windscreen between him and the driver (that would have made a bloody mess if they crashed).

b) A MASSIVE HUMONGOUS pig in a pen. The pig was the biggest I have ever seen. Must have weighed 300kg easily. This was some how attached to the bike seat where the passenger sits.

c) A man had tied approx 10metre long bamboo rods (think they were scaffolding poles) and was towing them behind him. There were about 5 of them and he had just tied one end to the seat and about 10metres behind him they were trailing on the ground.

3) A motorbike can be used in all weather conditions...

- They just don a poncho and bring their knees up under their chin and carry on riding. Or put an umbrella up hold that with one hand and steer with the other. These aren't super strong umbrellas that don't turn inside out with a bit of wind either. So to compensate that they usually just ride with in in front of their faces!

Also, I saw people riding through water that was knee deep.

4) It's not hard to ride a motorbike...
- just ask the guy who was reading his newspaper while on the highway.

5) The women here do not like the sun at all and would rather die of heat exhaustion than the sun get on their skin...

- Most women here when out and about wear thick white/tan stockings even with flip flops, they wear a surgical mask (although think this is to do with pollution also), gloves, scarves, and hoodies. And it's 30c+. They also wear sunglasses even when it's pouring rain.

How Time Flies

One year ago today I was packing, unpacking because my bag was faaaar to heavy and packing again. Now really did I NEED the SILK dress for backpacking in SE Asia. Did I NEED the hair straighteners and hair dryer? Well the silk dress came out but the hair dryer and straighteners stayed. I was carted off down to boots as I did not need massive shampoo and conditioners and shower gel and everything else. So my mum took me down to boots and brought me some travel size bottles that I could decant shampoo in to. She told me over and over not to take conditioner but to take leave in. I listened. It was awful. My hair was like straw.

I still took a pair of jeans (in the 3 months I wore them once), my black tulip fit dress (I never wore), black combat trousers (I never wore) about 5 pairs of shoes (which within the first week was whittled down to 1 and had to buy more, a dog stole one shoe of a pair, when I fell off the motorbike I wrecked one pair as the amount of blood that was over them and two pairs of flip flops broke as they were primark crap! I always tend to have shoe crisis' when ever I go anywhere. I am not good with shoes. I have weird feet. They are a funny shape so most shoes I get rub me in places and I walk funny in them so wear out on one side. When I was with Gom we would have endless arguments about my shoes. He always used to say to me make sure you bring comfortable shoes. So I did but after walking a while I would have massive blisters or they would be killing me some how.

I also took over a years supply of tampons. I still have loads left! Why I thought I needed so many who knows. I put them in to a plastic bag which had a tendency to somehow come open and spill them everywhere.

I also had a bra crisis while I was over there going from taking 5 to only coming back with 2. Again that's cheap ASDA bra's for you.

It was one year ago that I said goodbye to my nephew on his first birthday. I wouldn't see him again for 3 months. He was bound to forget me. He was the only one I cried when I said bye to, he was the one I missed the most.

So I am sitting here looking out my window across the park. The leaves are coming on the trees and soon I wont be able to see the house opposite. It also means I don't have to worry about drawing my curtains every time I get changed. At the moment the people walking on the park can probably see in if my light is on, but once the leaves come I can have naked Tuesday's again! Only joking... It was Wednesday! Lol.

As I sit and watch the people amble by I think about what has gone on in the last year. What has changed for the better and what has got worse. I am thinking back to how excited I was about going travelling on my own. My first entry in my diary on 4th April 2010....

Sitting in airport in London. Feeling mixed emotions. Still deciding whether or not I'm doing the right thing by going. No backing out now though. Checked in and waiting for flight. Had my first heart stopping moment (the first of many). The check in guy asked if I had a visa for Thailand. I don't. I am lucky I remembered to print off my Air Asia flight confirmation. I thought I wasn't going to be able to go. Got really worried. Well all is ok now at least. Waiting for flight now. In 17or so hours I will be in Bangkok. Then where. Not decided yet!!!!

I remember the song that was playing as I landed in Bangkok (yeah I know you are supposed to not have iPods on but I still had mine on...ooops. I wasn't actually told on that flight). It was Muse, New Born. I felt amazing. I loved not knowing where and when I was going. I loved the freedom I had. I have never had that before. All I had to tie me in was a booked flight 3 weeks later from Phucket to Saigon. The taste of freedom was amazing.

I thought I could run away from everything. Turns out I couldn't. I did start having suicidal thoughts while I was over there. I went a bit mad while I was over there, put my self in stupid situations (like arguing with a a Vietnamese guy who has not taken me to my hotel and dropped me in the middle of no where and I refused to pay him), rented motorbikes when have never ridden one, had unprotected sex and protected one night stands, got tattoo's (well I actually planned one of them the other was because I was a bit pissed and I liked the music the place was playing, not exactly the best reason for a tattoo). I tasted the freedom and I suppose you could say I went too far. I had fun though. Isn't that what matters? I started having the thoughts of suicide about 6 weeks in. Thinking and making plans not to go back. Stocking up on Temazepam, Zopiclone, Diazepam, Diclofenac anything I could get over counter. Taking 20mg of diazepam and 15mg of zopiclone most days. And drinking shit loads. Scary amounts. Tried mushrooms, the first time...loads of fun, second time; never again. Buying weed off some back street guy in Phnomn Penh...risky stuff. Maybe it's me reading too much in to it. Maybe it's just me who was given that freedom and I took it. OK, I did some silly things but did I not just do what any person going travelling on their own for the first time would do?

So. A year later. My oldest nephew is now 2. 2 today. He's lovely. I also have another nephew now. I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant about a week in to my trip. And now. A 3 month old baby. He's cute.

I do wish I could go back in time a year. Have my whole 3 month trip ahead of me. Not be dealing with all this in my head. I wonder if I would have gone about things differently. I wonder if things would have still worked out the same if I had known what was coming. I always think that. "If I could just go back in time by...". I wonder what would be different. Would anything change. I think I would have ended it with Gom on my own terms if I knew what was coming. Not be the one who was the one people feel sorry for. Not have it end like it did. I can't blame him for what I am feeling and doing now. It's just the way things are. I don't know how much of it is behavioural if we look at the behaviour, medical disease approach. I don't know.

Nurseman Mike would seem to think it is. He kept saying things like "it's your choice". Maybe it is. Maybe though sometimes I don't feel like I have a choice. Sometimes I can't help but self harm, or try to kill myself. Maybe at first it was. Maybe at first I could have rationalised and said to my self "stop right there, hang on, what are you doing? If you take all those Diazepam it is going to start a spiral of self harm". Maybe I had the choice then. But now I feel as though it has gone beyond it. Obviously it is my choice on what I choose to say to the Psychiatrist and everyone else about how I am feeling. Part of me knows if I am not honest then how do I expect to be helped. A lot of it is because I am so bloody scared of the outcomes. I suppose that's my choice isn't it?

I am not a big fan of the behaviourist approach. In a way I would rather be diagnosed with bi-polar or similar than it be coping mechanisms, or what ever. Bi-polar can be treated with medication. I am sorry if I am making bi-polar look to be a nicer thing. I know to people diagnosed with it they are probably wanting to shout and scream at me for wanting to be diagnosed with it. I know you probably feel that you don't want the diagnosis. Nor do I. I don't want to be ill. I don't want to be like this. But. I am. And I would rather they label it as something I see as more of a medical than behavioural thing. Does that make sense?

However I say that. I had a stern chat with one of my clients the other day "Marie, it's your choice. You say you want your kids back but you are the one who is choosing to go and get pissed most nights and not have anyone able to track you down. It's your choice whether or not you see your social worker but you need to work with us and not against us as on your own you are making the wrong decisions". I said to her all this behaviourist stuff. What's that about? Is it just that I don't want to see my own thing as a behavioural issue as if I do that then I can't put blame on to anyone or anything. You know if it's medical then I can blame my brain for not functioning properly. If it's behavioural I have no one to take any ownessis away from me. Nothing. That's probably it then isn't it. Also in terms of getting better. If it's medical, give me drugs. If it's behavioural...it's bloody hard work, hard work that I have to do and I don't have the energy for it!

Anyway, back on to time. It's now spring. It's averaging about 15c. It doesn't seem 2 minutes ago since it was -15c at it's worst here. Brrrrr.

I can't believe how in a year I have gone from being quite positive and optimisitic about things such as going travelling to being like I am now. All the same issues were there a year ago. So why am I like I am now. Infact I should have been worse a year ago as the break up was still raw. I've had a year to get over him. I am getting there. I don't feel so much hate towards Gom and LD now. I think that is because I am getting used to it. I am getting used to the idea that she lives there. I know when I find out she's pregnant or something like that that will hurt and I will probably be thrown in to a deep cycle again. But I feel ok-ish about it now. I think partly because I have seen her most recent profile picture and she looks like a DOG! Ok I know slightly bitchy? But I am allowed to aren't I?

So much has gone on in the last year. Out of 12 months I have probably spent close to 1 month of that in hospital. 2 weeks were to do with my knee but I have probably spent more than a week in as of self harm and suicide attempts or the resulting infection.

Uni is good. I enjoy placement but I do have my concerns. I am worried about written work. Especially now Sam has questionned my fitness for the course. It's made me question it. I do wonder if I am deluding myself about it. I have questionned myself so many times over it. I know I just need to keep on with it. I am passing and that is what matters. Ok, it's not what I would like but the way things are it looks like I will get my Masters. I know I have another year at it but things seem to be going ok. Uni are happy with me. I should stop being so hard on myself I suppose.

I am dreading tomorrow. I have to tell me practice educator about what has been going on. I don't want it coming out at mid point review in the week and it being the first she has heard about it. So explanations tomorrow. JOY!

I think tomorrow will be a hard day for me as it does mark a year since the day I went away. A day I remember being full knowing what freedom I had. I don't have that anymore.

Oh and incase you were wondering, if you have got this far...my nephew did remember me. The day after I got back my mum was looking after him. I went downstairs. He was in his high chair having breakfast. He looked at me. Stared at me for a second not quite sure then all of a sudden he squeeled with laughter and put his arms up to come to me. Awwwww, it makes me emotional thinking about it.

And the other ending point...no naked days happen, nor naked weeks, months, hours or anything. Lol. Of course I shower and get dressed but I don't refer to anything as "naked..."

xxxxx



Motorcycle Diaries...Pt 2

As I said in previous post this was not the end of my motorbike problems.

I was staying on the small Island of Ko Lanta in Thailand. I wanted to see more of the island than just the area I was staying in. All there was in the area I was staying in was a couple of beach hut guest houses and a shop. Not even a 7/11 (I loved those as you could always guarantee tuna sandwiches and airconditioning. I was to find out there is only so long you can browse without looking a little odd).

The island had an old town I wanted to check out and a fishing village. These were about as far away from me as you could possibly get. Opposite ends of the island. I looked in to getting a tuk tuk driver to take me there and back but he wanted £20 for the days work. OK, not a lot of money but when you're only on a spending money budget of about £10 not really do able. The place I was staying was hiring about motorbikes for £5, to fill it up with fuel only cost about £4. So this was by far the cheapest option. It would give me more freedom and I could stop and check out places as and when I wanted. I knew I needed to get over my fear of bikes as I knew in Vietnam when on my own it would be the only way of getting around in any sort of speed. So I hired one.

After taking a couple of wrong turns...I didn't take a map, just looked at one and thought I knew the way. And I didn't really need a map as there was only one road going around the outside of the island and one through the middle. I did manage to get to Lanta Old Town. It was like something out of a Wild Western. The buildings were all Western style, wooden fronts with shutters. It was quite a cute place really.

 I stopped for some lunch at the only restaurant there. It was so expensive. It cost me about £5 for Spring Rolls. They weren't even nice. I mooched around for as long as I could in this place which was really not that long at all. I decided to get back on the bike and head down to the peninsula.

So I was riding along in the middle of nowhere. No one was around and the bike starts to judder. I don't think much of it. But I do worry a little as it seems to get worse. By this point I had taken the helmet off as it was far too big for my small head and kept covering my eyes. Speeds of 40mph on a bike and not being able to see are not a good combination. Nor are speeds of 40mph and your head hitting the concrete. But in my weird reasoning way I thought I am less likely to come off if I can actually see where I am going. Not maybe I should ask for another helmet. The laws over there are quite odd when it comes to helmets. Here you have to have full on proper helmets, there you can get away with ones that you would use for cycling. Or non at all as they don't really seem to pull you up on it. Oh and one of the wing mirrors wouldn't adjust so I only had one mirror. Anyhoo, the juddering becomes worse. I decide to stop and check it out. A bloody flat tyre. I am in the middle of no where. I have not passed civilisation in ages.

"Crap, crap crap".

I had no idea how long it would be before I reached the next hamlet and I knew I was only a few km's back to Lanta Old Town. I didn't want to ride the bike anymore as I was super scared I was going to fall off. So I have to push it. I never realised just how heavy those things were. Especially trying to push one uphill!!!!

About 1km later I see a load of people sitting around cooking and generally being people who don't have an awful lot to do. Please remember that it was pushing 40c and very very humid. So you can probably imagine the sweaty betty I was. Gross! Another reason I liked the motorbikes was because they give you a breeze as you ride along.

So I walk up to these people and say to them, knowing the answer already but ask anyway

"Do you speak English"?

No reply. Crap. I have about 8 people just staring at me. Wondering where this very red, sweaty girl has appeared from.

"Can you help me"?

I point to the tyre. A woman comes over takes the bike off me. She jumps on it and off she rides. They are all sitting there laughing at me.

"Ummmm, what's going on here. I think a woman has just calmly walked over to me got on the bike and stolen it and I have just given it to her. Crap. I could be in a bit of trouble here".

They are all just sitting staring at me, talking about me, pointing and laughing and I can't understand a word they are saying. After the longest 5 minutes of my life another woman comes from no where on a motorbike. Not mine. She gestures for me to get on.

"Well, what harm can it do. I may have just had a bike stolen off me. This woman is telling me to get on her bike. I think I will take the chance and go with her"?

So I get on the bike. We go about 500metres over the brow of the hill and she stops at a motorbike repair shop. I see my bike! Yay! And the woman who took it. That's what she was doing. The repair guy pulls my bike off the road and again more conversation and laughter at me. Although it was in a different language you can tell when people are talking about you and having a good laugh at your expense!

Anyway, he said he will fix the puncture for me. He can speak a little English. He said it needed a new inner tyre. It was just like a bike tyre that you pump up. He puts a new inner tube in and pumps it up. All the while his whole family have come out to watch. So I am sitting in a greasy garage surrounded by about 10people who happen to want to see him change this tyre. I don't know, maybe it was some right of passage for him being a (I wont say qualified as I don't think anyone has actual qualifications out there they just do the job they are good at) mechanic and his family needed to see this.

I am sat here thinking I bet this is going to cost the earth. There is no way I can get off twice with things like this. So when he asked me for 200BHT about £4 I happily paid. I decided I was not going to push my luck any further with the motorbike that day and to give the peninsula a miss. So I decided to go back to the guesthouse.

When I got back I told the owner what had happened. He went ape at me. I was got a little angry too as I was tired from pushing the bike. He said I had been massively overcharged and should have been about 50BHT (£1). I said I thought it was quite cheap as new tyres at home cost about £25 minimum. And I got breakdown included. Here I pay £17 a month for my bank account. With that I get AA Homestart which should cost about £70 a year (I also get other benefits such as lower interest rates on my over draft, free mobile phone insurance and free worldwide travel insurance. It actually works out cheaper for me to pay for my account than to have it all seperate....just in case you were wondering it's the Lloyds TSB Platinum account) and ok, so I had to push it uphill, I didn't think I had done too badly. I don't know why he was so angry I don't think he ever had any intention of refunding me for it. I didn't expect to be but I thought I best let him know some work had been done on the bike..

To top it all off I was sun burnt. I had been wearing a t-shirt so I had a white body and t-shirt tan. I tend to go quite brown so the tan was quite funny. It still actually remains where I have whiter shoulders than my arms. Stupid t-shirt tan. LOL!

I'll never wear a vest again!

Falling Off Motorbikes (and more fun).

First off I say motorbike but it was more of a scooter/moped but motorbike seems so much cooler and not as pathetic.

So I was in Thailand. It was only my 2nd full day there. The night before I had decided to rent one from the guest house I was staying at. I had never ridden one before. I took it out to go see the sunset and was fine on it. It was like riding a bike. I was a bit nervous when massive trucks overtook me and gave me a little wobble. But after a while I was going at the speed limits of the road having quickly gained confidence as it was so bloody easy. Before this I had only ever been on a bike of the motorised variety once. That was 6 years previous and on the back of someone elses...in Bangkok. But here I was in a tiny town a couple of hours north of Bangkok.

So on this day I had got up earlyish and decided to go around the temples. I gathered in my wanting to save money rather than hiring a tuk tuk for the day it would be cheaper for me to rent my own bike. And, it was a reasonably quiet town, nothing like Bangkok. It was scary enough being on the back of one never mind trying to negotiate the traffic of Bangkok on one. I had been to a cafe for the most disgusting food in the world. The consistency was like a runny jelly (for any Americans Jello) without the blobs. It was horrid but it was the only place open. So a little less than ravenous more just like hungry I set out again. I had ridden around a few temples not really looking where I was going. Just going for a ride about. I decided to go down one road that turned in to more of a dirt track. I slowed down loads as was a bit bumpy. I realised it was a dead end and knew I needed to turn around. Having got quite complacent on the bike I thought I would be able to do it all in one go. Apparently not. The turning circle on the thing was much wider than I expected (I thought it would be just like a normal cycle). There was a mini-van parked up and I thought "shit I'm going to hit it". So I turned the handle bars a little more and braked. I braked in the wrong order as my front wheel stopped and my back kept on going. I also caught the throttle at the same time. Result. Threw me off just in front of the mini-van.

"Crap the bike! I've signed a disclaimer saying any damage I have to pay for, shit shit shit"! So I picked the bike up and put it up right. "What's all that over the bike. I hope I've not torn a fluid pipe or something. Where the hell is all that fluid coming from"? I look down at myself. "Shit, I've ripped my trousers, these were new on today and I have not brought any other cropped trousers with me and I can't afford to be buying clothes"! Then I looked at my knee. "Oh dear, that needs looking at". "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, i just saw what happened are you ok"? Said the English raised Thai girl who jumped out the van. "Errrr...I think I may need some stitches in my knee". She looked "you need more than that girl, I'm calling you an ambulance"! I looked at my knee again. It looked as though I had pushed my knee cap in to my leg and displaced it. It didn't hurt at all though. She then saw my hand. It was kind of spurting blood from my palm. "Look at your hand, here put this on it (*handed me a wad of tissues)". That be what the "fluid" all over the bike was then. Oops. I looked over the bike and saw I had scratched it quite badly. "Shit".

"I'm calling an ambulance" she said.
"Don't you bloody dare, I know where the hospital is (I notice things like that as I am kinda accident prone) I'll ride there". She took the keys out the ignition.
"Not a chance".
"Not a chance you are getting me in an ambulance". I wasn't thinking of my injuries. I was thinking of the bike. I wasn't going to leave it there. I didn't know where I was. It could have been stolen or anything. I was also thinking what an ambulance would cost me out of my budget. NO WAY was I going to be getting in some ambulance.
"Fine, I am calling the police then".
"No, no no. I can ride there. I am not losing that much blood, really, I work with people who self harm, I've seen worse, look it's fine (*removing tissues and it had slowed to a fast pouring now. It was slowing. I was happy). Ummm, maybe I should go to the hospital".
"I am calling the police".
By now a few people had gathered to look at the stupid white girl. I called them SWG moments where I had done something that caused people to look at me and think..."ahhhh another western tourist, stupid silly girl"!
The police showed up on their equivalents of blues which was actually reds. By now they had moved me away from the bike and got me sitting down raising my hand and leg. I was sat at the top of some steps in the shade. Next thing I know the police man is taking photos of me. No "hello, what have we here then", no "how are you". Just snap happy on his camera. Nice. Nice to know that this whole debacle is being made proof of in their history.
"You need an ambulance".
"No I don't and I am not going on one, I know where the hospital is I will ride the bike there and then I can ride it back to the guest house".
*Laughing "no chance. We are not letting you get back on that bike".
"Pleeeeeeease" *like a sulky child.
"Ok, we take you to hospital".
"No, the bike, I am not leaving it. I don't know where I am. I am bad with directions and I will never find it again (I had actually lost my hotel the night before. I was in the wrong area, first I got the name of it completely wrong called it it Saaaaaaaun Baaaaaahn...so asking local Thai people where it was. Then to be told it was Buan Suan with the pronunciation having to be exactly right or they still didn't have a clue. In the end I paid someone to follow them on their bike...turns out I had been up and down my own road about 5 times...I was looking on the wrong side of the road).
"Errrrr. OK. We get police to take bike back to police station, will you please then go in ambulance".
"No, I am not letting the bike leave my sight". You hear so much of police corruption and I was kind of delirious by now.
"Ok, we take you in car. We follow policeman back to station. You can see bike in station then we take you to the hospital".
Realising I am not going to win on this one and they won't let me take the bike myself
"OK, fine"!

So I got in the back of the lovely air conditioned police car being really careful not to get blood on much. I would say anything but by this point I was covered. The police took me to the station showed me the bike parked and locked up. I could relax a bit now. All the time though they were taking random pictures of me and smiling and laughing at me.

So they park up at the front of the hospital. I am walked in by them. At first the nurse doesn't really look at me and gestures for the police to take me else where. She then sees that maybe, I could do with being seen to quickly. Either that or they thought "ummmm money maker"! I was led in to what was like a massive operating theatre but with more than one bed. There were about 10 beds. All of a sudden about 10 people ascended on me. Nurses and doctors from every direction. I was a bit unsure as to what was going on. They started squirting stuff at the wound and it was hurting like hell now. A doctor then came and talked to me. He said what they were going to do and talked me through it. I wasn't aware he was a doctor. I thought he was just some English speaking dude type translator guy they managed to find quickly. It was only after about an hour I discovered he was a doctor. I was so surprised. Here the docs see you then go and he had spent all this time with me. They numbed up my knee and scrubbed it out. They actually scrubbed it. It makes me feel sick thinking of it. I would have thought they would have got tweezers and picked the gravel out...there was a lot in there but they seemed to scrub it. They spent about an hour sorting my knee out. Internal stitches and external ones. No x-ray though. They then went to work on my hand. They scrubbed that also. They didn't just use saline either. They used some kind of disinfectant wash. I remember lying there looking up at the operating lights and they were covered in dust. Not just a small amount but cobwebs and layers of the stuff. Kinda worrying. The nurses were all pristine though. I wonder how many changes of clothes that they make a day as they were dressed all in white and it was white white. Definitely been using Daz!

All this time I still had about 3 police officers with me. Taking photos every now and again also. When I first got to the hospital there was only 2 of them but they called another one in. It was a woman. I am not sure if they thought I would want a woman there or if they thought..."lets get *insert name here to come and look how funny this whole situation is". I must have been on that table nearly 2 hours. I wasn't in pain anymore as of the anaesthetic but I was starting to worry about how much the hospital bill would come to. How much the bike was going to cost me.

I was told that I needed to have a course of antibiotics and they also prescribed me some painkillers and that I needed to go back to the hospital every day for 10 days to have the dressings changed and the wounds cleaned (like I was going to do that. My plan, go back one day, see how and what they do, go to the pharmacy and do it myself). The wheeled me out of the treatment area on a trolley bed and the police woman said I needed to pay and she would go and sort it for me. She came back to me with the price and said it was going to cost 1000BHT which was around £20. *Relief! So I gave her my bank card and off she trotted. I was waiting ages. I was starting to get worried. She came back and said she had sorted the prescription out but I needed to put my PIN in so that it could be paid. So I went off with her and the other two police men. I was the only foreign person in the hospital. Everyone else was local. I was being stared at by everyone. To make things worse I was being escorted by 3 policepeople so to them it may have looked as though I had done something wrong. I was also in torn clothes and covered in blood. A bit of a social faux pas in Thailand. You don't wear ripped revealing clothes and you make sure you look reasonably ok. I was still having my picture taken. They must have had over 100 by now! They then gave the camera to one of the locals and asked me to pose with the three of them. So somewhere out there is an awful picture of me with 3 policepeople. I wished I had got them to take one on mine, just so I would have the awful memory also. As much as I was worrying I couldn't help but see the funny side in all of this. After all this was me...Miss Accident. Miss Falls Over When Standing Up Right, Not Drunk/Stoned.

I decided to ask them why they were taking so many pictures. With a smile I was told it was for their boss so that they could document what they had done and what I was like. Yeah right!

The police were amazing. They really were. You hear so many stories about corrupt police in Thailand. About how they are unfair etc etc. But these guys were lovely. They may have been taking the piss out of me but it was all in good fun. I didn't expect them to stay with me. I thought they would dump me at the hospital, I would have to wait hours to be seen and not know anything that was going on. But both the police and the medical staff were top! How much time they spent with me making sure I was ok and that I understood everything. Ok, medically they probably missed quite a bit. I think here if you fell off like I did they would have checked things like my head and neck...(oh yeah I had taken the helmet off at this point also as it was making my head sweaty and it was too big! Clever aren't I, riding around on a motorbike with no experience of ever riding one and not even wearing a helmet) possibly sending me for x-rays to ensure I hadn't got anything in my knee etc etc. But I was happy with what I received. If I had any pains anywhere I would have mentioned it anyway.

So the police then said they would take me back to the guest house. Can you imagine the embarrassment. Walking in to your guesthouse with 3 police officers. GH Owner just looked at me and the police in utter shock. They had a conversation in Thai which obs I didn't understand. All I could do was apologise over, and over and over. GH Owner seemed really pissed off and not happy with me. I was quite upset. He said in a stern way "you pay for any damage, you signed contract". So here I am thinking he is going to con me here. This is another con I have heard of where they massively overcharge you for damage. So I was thinking this is going to cost me a couple of hundred quid. I am on my own. I don't know the country that well and I was starting to worry. He then said he was going to go get the bike which he was really pissed off at and did nothing to hide his emotions from me. After an hour or so he got back. "Bike it very scratched". I agreed and said I was sorry again and again. "You pay 150BHT".

"What? That is like £3. Of course I'll pay you that. I am so so so sorry."

I think he took pity on me. I think the police probably had a word also.

I went back to the hospital the next day to have the wounds dressed and cleaned. It cost £4. I thought no way am I coming back to the hospital every day for the next 10 days to be subjected to some kind of acid poured on and paying for the privilege. So as soon as I left the hospital I went to the pharmacy across the road and brought things like antiseptic wipes, inadine and dressings. I then went to the Tesco...yes Tesco across the road had a look around. For some strange reason I really like Tesco. Even if it is taking over the world. I like it. Sad aren't I?

It did become quite painful my knee. The guest house I was staying in had really small toilets and it was so painful going to the loo as I had to sit with my knee bent. To be comfortable I needed to have it outstretched. So peeing was rather painful!

I suppose I didn't really look after the wound properly. 3 months later once I was home I had cellulitis and the infection had got in to my blood. It put me in hospital for 12 nights and off work for a month as I was quite ill. I was quite lucky while I was away as only affected me for a few days at a time. It wasn't until right at the end of my trip on the last night that I became quite ill. I turned the air con off, had 2 layers of clothes on and all the blankets i could find in the room and I was still cold. The flight home was a nightmare and my knee was painful. I got home and I was ok after a couple of days. But the wound still hadn't healed properly so I went to my GP who sent me for an x-ray. Nothing in it. 2 weeks to the day after getting home I was admitted in to the hospital as my temperature had spiked and I was ill. It was my own fault though. I took my own stitches out and then was swimming in the sea, swimming pools, waterfalls and rivers. At first they thought some parasite had got in to me as of where I had been. But in the end they put it down to the infection. I was so lucky that the whole incident didn't ruin my trip and that I didn't get really ill while I was out there as I can't imagine being in hospital would have been a ball of laughs over there. Not that it was here but at least I had people visiting me.

Did it put me off getting bikes. Well. I decided I needed to get over my fear of them as I knew once I got to Vietnam that I would be needing to get around on taxi bikes everywhere as is cheapest way. So I rented another. Was it without problems? No!!!! But that is another story I will add at another time.

I just want to add here as a footnote. It may seem as though I was being quite prejudiced against these people. However, I had been to Thailand before and it does seem as though everyone tries to con you in some way and make money out of you. So that's why I was being over careful about things.