Friday, 13 June 2014

A Question.... Please Answer In Comments...

So, G has asked me to write what my friends give me. By this he means what needs of mine are met by my friends.

For a start I don't know what my needs are.

To me the whole exercise seems a bit of a pros and cons list of keeping these people as friends. To be fair, numerous people have said to me I need to find new friends. I think, that this, is probably a psychologists way of saying the same thing. But, as he can't actually say that to me too ( I don't think he can anyway), he wants me to make the decision based on fact.

He can probably see it all. He will know what my needs are. But, me being me. I don't have a clue.

So, my question, I think, is how do your friends meet your needs?



Anonymous said...

Some of my friends give me that sense of not being alone (ex: FB closed group). Some of my friends give me that place to get a long safe hug without anyone thinking anything odd about it. Two of my friends watch over me when the mania gets way out of hand. I trust them to keep me safe and not let me make the terrible choices I've made in the past.

Anonymous said...

The majority of my friends are 'remote' and I speak to them mostly online - most of them I met through Facebook support groups. The one friend I have living nearby (I live in London - a huge city, and I have one friend here), is there for me both physically when my MS is bad and I need help and emotionally to provide friendly support. However I cannot lean hard on him emotionally because we have very different coping strategies and it has led to clashes before now. I've always been very selective with my friendships and who I give my time to; while I am always playing the maternal/hostess role in a group or friendship I am extremely choosy who I open myself up to emotionally and so expose my vulnerability. Friendship is, in many ways, an exchange of energy and if this is out of balance with one of you taking much more than the other then it's a very rocky foundation upon which to build a stable foundation. I have learnt the hard way, several times over, that this is not worth wasting my energy on. I'm not saying you should take selfishly, but the support and respect, especially, needs to be balanced.