A year ago, I was on the High Dependency Unit on a medical ward. I had been on there a day after being released from the Intensive Care Unit after a week in a coma on a ventilator. I had taken a huge OD, which very nearly killed me. I was reliant on the ventilator to breathe for me. I was pretty ill.
Even now, a year later. I still suffer the effects from it. It has damaged my voice. Speech therapy hasn't really worked and they think that there could be some damage that they have missed. I also have nightmares about when I was brought round and they took the ventilator out and then having to have a mask on my face that forced air in to my lungs as I was still not breathing properly. It was horrendous. I never want to go back to that place again.
OK, the last year has not been easy. Yes, there have been ODs. There has been serious self harm. Well, I don't class it as serious. But they do. I have been in hospital twice this year already. But, I think I am improving. I have started to accept things. I have started to have a more structured approach to the therapy. I have been more open. I have been less stubborn. I have been proactive and said I need hospital. I know I have got to that stage where I know I need extra help and I can't manage on my own.
I would like to think I have made some huge positive changes in the last year.
Also in the last year I have changed who I am physically. I have have lost nearly 3 and a half stone. I still have a couple to go. But I am a different person now. I have started eating healthily. I exercise. I have started walking. Hill walking. And I actually really enjoy it. I love getting up high and getting some really nice views.
I have found new things in the last year that I enjoy doing.
So, I set my self a challenge. Originally it was going to be climbing Snowdon. The highest mountain in Wales. But, as I got fitter I thought I needed to make it a bit harder. When my Dad first suggested the West Highland way, I thought it was way out of my capabilities. It's 150KM long. But as time went on, I thought why not? We are going to be walking this in 8 days. A year ago I didn't exercise at all. It's only been since October time last year that I regularly started exercising. So for me going from nothing, to within a few months walking a long distance route through the Scottish Highlands is going to be a massive achievement. And not just this, but tagging Ben Nevis on to the end of it. The highest mountain in Britain.
I am putting my mind to something. For the first time in nearly three years I have set out to do something and am actually close to completing it. Considering where I have been in the last three years, and what I have gone through. This is a major achievement for me.
I am raising money for a local charity to me. It supports young people with a ride range of problems. It provides free contraception, healthcare advice, parenting advice, housing advice, meals to those who are homeless, and counselling. They don't charge the young people for this service and they rely entirely on contributions. There are not many services in my area that provide counselling that don't charge. It's hard to get services on the NHS. I am a firm believer in prevention is better than a cure. And also, that problems should be dealt with if possible at a young age. This can hopefully lead to the person being more able to cope with further problems in the future. And ultimately, them being a happier well rounded person. That will require less input in the future as they have managed to get the help they needed before problems have time to escalate. Perhaps if I had been given the support I needed when I was in my early 20's, things wouldn't have escalated to where they have now.
So please, show me your support. If you can spare a couple of pounds, please can you text KMOR84 £(your amount) to 70070.
If you want to know more information about me or the charity, or the walk. Please get in contact with me on facebook. Kat Moss or email firstname.lastname@example.org.