Bloody doctor was lovely. Grrr. I wish he was my community consultant.
Spent over an hour with him and I let him talk me in to staying.
He actually listened to me. For a consultant I thought that was really good. Most are so far up their own asses that they hear you but change what you say. This guy listened and when he fed back to me put it in an even better way than I could have articulated it. I don't think that's ever happened with a doc before. My psychologist does it also which is why I like him.
So I agreed to stay and we'll review the situation next Monday. He is letting me off the ward also on my own and has said on Wednesday I can go back to my flat for a bit and then Thursday or Friday go into the city centre shopping and to my best friend's baby shower on Saturday.
He is going to talk to the community consultant about medication. I told him I wasn't happy coming off it so he's going to see what the deal is and maybe hopefully tweak a few things.
He did say he didn't want to see me sectioned and wouldn't force that on me. But at the moment would be a good idea for me to stay, see my psychologist on Thursday to get some support from him and see what he has to say.
I suppose he's right. Well I'm saying that now as I feel pretty stable. When I'm not all I want to do is be at home. I can see more than my nose at the moment. I'm not saying when I want to be at home it's just so I can self harm. I sometimes feel I can deal with things better at home. Around my own things in on own space. I start to struggle here then everything going on around me just seems to amplify. So someone shouting just adds to it. My room mates light, not even noisy snoring adds to it. Someone else turning the page in a book, adds to it. You get the picture?
So that's that. Let's just see how I get on. I'll probably be asking to go home later! Lol.
In other irrelevant, boring none descript news. I've decided to dye my hair. Been blonde again for a couple of years now but I can't afford it and when I've got roots, which is most the time it just looks greasy. So I'm going to put a light auburn on. I'm nervous. I do prefer being blonde, but I'm naturally dark so the up keep is expensive and as my hair is quite long I can't do it my self. So it needs about 70quid spending on it every 6-8 weeks if I want to keep it looking good. As it is at the moment I have 3inch dark brown root line in bleached hair. Does not look good.
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