Doctors Appointment

So I built the courage up and called up my GP surgery yesterday expecting to be given an appointment in about 3 weeks. She took my details and said that I could go in that same day. I was quite surprised. Then she said that they had been talking about me that morning. Paranoia overdrive. But then she said she couldn't remember why though.

So that made me really nervous about going.

It turns out I am that person who makes the doctor run late. I was in with her 45 minutes. The appointment is only supposed to be 10mins max. So I must have annoyed a few people who were waiting after me to be seen.

She asked what I wanted and so I explained. First off was the shoulder/neck pain. She had a look and had a feel and said it was probably my tendons. She asked me to move it around a bit and I couldn't lift my arms properly. I explained how getting dressed was a nightmare and how when I got up in the morning I am nearly in tears and how every time I moved in the night it woke me up. So she prescribed me diclofenac and has referred me for physiotherapy on it. I have to call them Monday. Knowing what it's like though, I won't get in for a few weeks and by the time the appointment comes round it will be better. But it's been bad since I came out of the ITU which is 3 weeks ago. Enough is enough.

We then went on to talking about my pill and had a pill check. I told her my blood pressure would be high as it always was when I came for pill checks but usually it isn't. I get it checked regulary when I am in hospital, which of course was recently and it's always normal or even on the low side. So I just laughed and said I had white coat syndrome. It was high. She said it was probably a mixture of being there and also because I was in pain.

I was weighed and have put on 4kg since I was last checked which was 6 months ago. Eeek. That's a lot of weight to have put on. But I am working on that, I have joined Fat Fighters Online aka Weight Watchers.

I spoke to her about my weight and explained how it was an issue of mine and I wanted to do something about it but I had tried numerous times and no matter what I do I just can't seem to shift it. She said a lot of it was probably to do with my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. But if I am careful eat smaller portions and exercise it should help. We were talking about the exercise and she said I should go for walks and power walk for about 2 hours a day. 2 hours a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. OK, I know I am not working at the moment, but 2 hours a day. Who the hell does 2 hours exercise a day?

I asked about hypnotherapy and she said it was not something she was aware that my practice offered (she was new and a bit useless, I had to explain to her why I was taking Metformin that it was nothing to do with my sugars being high but was because part of PCOS is to do with insulin resistance) and that there is no medical proof that it works. So the idea of a hypnoband on the NHS is out. I can't afford the £450 which it is, and it's a lot of money to spend when I am not even sure if it would work. We talked a bit about diet pills and I said I didn't really want to take them as I had read that they cause you to have loose stools and being as though I already suffer with my bowels I didn't really want to make it worse as it caused me enough problems as it was. She said she would ask around and get back to me.

I also asked her about my not having had a period in about 7 weeks. She asked if I was sexually active and I said not. I did say how just before Xmas I was going out and getting so pissed that there were massive gaps in the night and not being able to remember getting home after I'd been out. She said I should probably do a pregnancy test. They didn't do them there unless it was an emergency and being as though I wasn't having pain it didn't constitute as an emergency. I was a bit annoyed at this really. I didn't say anything though. I looked in the pharmacy how much the tests were and the cheapest was £10. I'm not paying that. I know there are gaps in my memory but surly if I had done as much as slept with someone I would remember that as it's been so long. And it would hurt. I don't think I am pregnant. I can't be. But I do find it odd when usually when I stop taking the pill like clockwork after 4 days I have a bleed. She was saying it was probably something to do with the PCOS and that if I wasn't bleeding did I really need the pill. I thought she wasn't going to give it to me. I was close to tears explaining how since I had been on it, it had changed my life for the better. I told her how the problems I was having was bleeding about 20days of the month, not not bleeding at all.

I am reluctant to do a pregnancy test. I have only ever done one. It was when I was 19 and I missed a period all together and I thought I was pregnant. Back then I was regular and I was with GOM at the time and was of course sexually active. Looking back at it I think I may have actually have been pregnant but then lost it. It was so unlike me to miss one. But we will never know. How different my life would have been if I had have been. But anyway, waiting those few minutes was horrible. I don't want to put myself through that. I know I am doing the typical me thing of avoiding the issue. Running away from it. But I don't see why I should spend the money on a test that is going to be negative. How I am being over this is something I should probably talk to my psychologist about but I don't think I would be able to as it's girly stuff and he's a bloke. I suppose there is my CPN, but I don't really want it going in my notes. Everything goes in your notes.

So I think I will give it a bit longer and see what happens. Am I being stupid?????????????