I didn't have any fight in me. So I have now been put on to Lamotrigine. Can't say I am happy but I would rather give it a go and have a chance of working to get that extra help than have nothing at all.
As I expected he didn't listen to me, it was if my opinions didn't matter. Typical him really.
He kept telling me I am depressed as I have nothing to be happy about. Well I have nothing to be depressed over either so what's that about? Quite an annoying statement really.
He said he will see me more regularly as he hasn't seen me in a long time and while I am starting a new medication he wants to monitor it. So I have more appointments which in my mind are a waste of time to look forward to. I suppose having a CPN/CCO has been of some benefit to me.
I told him about the hallucinations and how much they bothered me and I told him I wanted them to stop but he was no use at all. No advice he basically just skirted around it and ignored what I was saying. I really don't know why I bother.
As usual the appointment has just left me feel pissed off.
And I am stuck with him. I am waiting to be moved teams as the team I am under is an assessment team who are only supposed to work with you for up to a year. I have been with them two and a half years now. I am waiting for a new CPN in the recovery team, but being as though he is also the consultant psychiatrist in the recovery team, I will still be under him. Grrrrr.
Also, he said at the moment the team would not be recommending I can start back to uni. As I expected really. So not feeling too bothered about that. If I was them I wouldn't recommend it either. So for once I understand where they are coming from on it. Going to speak to the psychologist about it on Thursday though as I need to know whether or not I am likely to be going back. I am hoping that over the next few months things will change with the help of medication and also therapy. I am willing to put more in to it than I have done. I know I need to if things need to improve.
But who knows what the future holds.
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3 comments:
Hi gp im sorry youre app was crap but they have had brilliant results with lamogtrine and certain conditions like really really outstanding results reductions in suicidal ideation and sh ect.
Well hopefully it will have some impact. I am aware medication won't solve all my problems but it will help give me the strength to approach them.
I am just worried about the side effects of it. I knew what I was getting with the last meds. This is unknown.
Damn! I'm sorry he couldn't be more helpful and personable.
Whenever someone relies on me (whether it was at work or personal), I would knock myself out to do my best. It seems others don't have that ethic. I recently paid an accountant $395 to do my taxes. I owed the government a frightening amount (because we're settling my wife's estate), and I expected to get some advice or guidance. Nothing! He was very gruff to the point of being unfriendly. I even broke the ice by determining that he was related to a family I knew when I was growing up. It hardly got a reaction out of him.
Sometimes I don't think any of us are sick. IT'S THEM!
Aim for steady progress, my friend!
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