Invalid

Still in the hospital. I am not sure when I'll be out. I think falling over last night probably wont help me. I've now been told i'm not to get out the bed unless someone is around. It's cos i'm crap at walking and i'm an invalid. The pain killers I'm on make me feel sick which means i don't even get any pleasure from meal times.
So basically I'm thoughly miserable.
I'm obviously worried about my course. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm hoping  I can just make these missed days up. What's worse is it's my own fault. I went and got hammered. My behaviour wss awful. I know I've got a lot of shit kicking off, but after my recent problems with uni you would have thought I would have not screwed like I did. It is all my fault.

I've been filled in from my friends about what happened. It's embarrassing. The worst thing is is that it's not the first time. My friends have had a go at me saying it's clearly obvious I'm running away from what ever is going off. I don't think that i am. They also had a go at me about how much I had to drink (it was 3 bottles of wine at 13percent) and being on strong medication.

So I screwed up. I went out with the intention of getting pissed. I suppose in a way I am lucky. I wasn't arrested. I didn't try and kill myself. And i was with friends who have seen me like that before. What if i wasn't. I'm stupid. I'm hyper. I'm not in the best way to be confined to a bed. I don't know what to do with myself.

Xxxxx