Stuck In The Middle

I was speaking to my Mum earlier. My Dad has apparently said to my Mum he wants her to leave him. She has said to me, she doesn't be the one who wants to instigate it. But wants to. And asks me for my advice. I said to her as I have said a million times, talk about it nice and calmly when you have not had a drink! So she said to me, what do you know. You have had a drink. So what! I have said it so many times. I have said it when she storms in to my room at night asking me. I said it to my brother the other day. I think for both brothers they feel my Mum should leave him. I still feel like a child and want every thing to be good. They have been together nearly 35 years. I want to be the .4 child. I hate how she tells me the problems. I know I should get a grip. I am nearly 27. I am an adult. But I don't want all of that. I want them to sit down and talk about things. I can see my Mum's point. I can see how she would not want to be with him. He is saying that as of what she is feeling. But it wouldn't take that much to change his chauvinist ways. I think that would solve it. I do. I think.

But then I think they only married as my Mum was pregnant at 18. And back in 1976 it was not the done thing. Not when you are a nice catholic girl, with nice catholic parents, nice catholic middle class parents who's father was in politics and close on being a MP. And would have been if he hadn't have fallen over a balcony in County Hall. He was a VIP my Grandad. He couldn't have been seen with a teenage daughter who was pregnant and unmarried.

So where do I lie now. My Mum is now close on being MP. My Dad is not supportive. And I must say I voted for the other party. Not because I didn't want her in, but because her party doesn't quite tow the line I want to be following. I don't agree with a lot of their plans, so I voted the opposite way.

So here I am. Had to listen to the shit that goes on between them. Has to put up with the crap. I can't say what I think as no one listens to me.

I think I am going to ask my brother if I can stay at his over the next few days. I need to run away from this whole situation. I don't want to be brought in to it.

Is that bad? Is that wrong?