Fucked Up! Big Time!

I am writing this from the 136 suite. I was caught on my way to hospital to get stitched up walking down the middle of a dual carriage way.

I'd called crisis team. Why? I don't know. At least it was someone I knew though. I called them before I cut to talk through how much I was struggling and needed to do something. Then we agreed I'd take some night nurse. So I took 4 of those hoping the double dose would knock me out along with the wine but I was just lying there tossing and turning and things got worse. So I cut! Really bad. I don't know why I called them back. Obviously they told me to go to hospital. I said I didn't want to and she said she was going to send an ambulance if I didn't agree to make my own way there.

I called a cab but it never showed so I decided to walk. Stupid me. I don't know what went through my head. On the way there I decided I really didn't want to go or even be around and that walking down the middle of a dual carriage way would be a good idea. Someone called the police and an ambulance and they pushed me into ambulance and forced me on to bed. I tried doing a runner a couple of times from the hospital but it just landed me in cuffs. Ended up with about 25 stitches. Stupid me!

So now I'm waiting for yet another mental health act assessment. I just hope it's not my consultant doing it as I'm sure he'd probably want me in. I can't stand the guy. This will be my 7th are you mental enough to be sectioned assessment in just over a year. Not good really is it!

I'm on my phone at the moment but will write another post when I've got internet access!

Xxx