I am going to try and keep this updated as I go through the night. It's a good distraction for me to write...
So I called and spent 30 minutes on the phone. I have to call back in an hour..
The woman was nice. She just said a long the lines of that I may be struggling but there is something in me that makes me not want to. I didn't tell her that was because I was planning and had made plans for another night.
Basically she wants me to call her back in an hour. I told her I tried all the things said. I said I would watch Holby City for the next hour.
I have gathered the needs to try again tonight but it goes against my plans.
I don't know why I am so set on the particular night. I know if I attempt tonight me not turning up to appointments with Sam tomorrow will raise concerns. She knows how I am feeling so she would probably end up calling police if I didn't turn up and didn't answer phone.
So I want to keep my plans for the same. Also. It's planned. I feel easy about it. I don't feel easy about tonight.
EDIT @ 20.20 -
The TV is not really helping distract me. I think the needles are called for.
About Me
- Kat Moss
- Well, what can I say without giving too much away about who I am. I suppose firstly I should say why I am writing a blog. It's for my own benefit really. I like looking back through old things I have written about and it makes me rememeber it. I have an awful memory and it's good to look back and see how I felt about something or even something happening. I used to keep a diary when I was younger but fear of it being found and also the amount of time it took me to write in it meant that I didn't really write in it that often. But, it was good to look back on things and see how things were at the time. I don't know how many people, if any will read this. I would like to think people would read it and I can remain totally anonymous. If I can't be honest on here then where can I be. No one knows me on here, no one knows I keep a blog so I have that security.
8 comments:
I'm glad you called. Did you call back after the hour?
I tend to find TV is just noise sometimes and never helps when my head gets in a mess.
I'll try and check on you over the next few hours.
I did call back but it was a waste of time. I've written another blog on it. I've self medicated by trippleing the quetiapine dose to knock me out.
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