What's Normal?

I have come to the realisation that I am not.

I mean...

Who has a drawer of bandages, saline and steri-strips
Who hoards all old pills for a just in case...especially if you know those meds may cause heart problems...they are same group as Venaflaxine so I am guessing they may?
Who has a psychiatrist
Who sees a counsellor
Who takes a blade to themselves and describes the feeling as better than the best sex ever?
Who takes a needle to themselves and says the reason they are doing that is because they don't want to scar?
Who drives down to the river and looks at places which are good places to go to OD and ligate?
Who is obsessed with death.
Who pictures their own death over and over. Has even got as far as planning their own funeral.
Who sees the 30 day song challenge and sees that that on one of the days the song is one you would play at your funeral and you put real thought in to it?
Who when driving thinks I will pull out in front of this massive HGV and has to restrain themselves from doing it.?
Who spends hours and hours on the internet looking at different methods and planning?


There are many others that I can't think of on the top of my head. I know my feelings aren't normal.

They scare me!