Bit Of A Mess

I'm not sleeping as of noisy neighbours and this is making it hard for me to manage how I am feeling. I can't relax in my own home as of the noise.

Pretty much every night there is loud music blaring out between 7-12ish. Thursday night it was so loud that when I had my friend over we ended up just turning the TV off as we couldn't concentrate on it. It was turned off by 11.30pm, but when it's all night you can't relax.

Last night they had a party. People were over until 12ish, shouting, screaming, running up and down stairs. Loud music, banging. People ringing my door bell just for the hell of it and to top it all off pissing against the wall on my side next to my bedroom window and then puking up by the front door, which no one has seemed to move.  It makes me really anxious. Which then means I can't sleep. Take last night for instance. I was getting really wound up with the noise and couldn't relax at all. I was exhausted as I had done a lot of cardio that day. Come 12ish after noticing someone had thrown up and pissed against the wall they decided to go out. After many more screams and shouts, doors slamming and taxis honking their horn they left. But I was still really wound up and anxious. I knew that they would be coming back in a few hours and waking me up when they got back as they are not quiet people. I can't get to sleep as I am anticipating being woken again. Come 4am about 4 of them return home and are talking really loudly and banging around upstairs.

I think I finally fall asleep somewhere around 5 but I am up at 7.30am. So now I feel horrible. I can't control my emotions and keep breaking down in tears every few minutes. My urges are in overdrive. Last night I ended up breaking down as well. I can't live like this. I spoke to the psychologist about it last week and he said if it continues I should be making an appointment with my GP to get some sleeping pills. I don't think it would work. Friday night it was a quiet night so I managed to actually be able to relax in the evening. I went to bed and slept all night. I actually slept for 13 hours. If I am relaxed I can sleep. But as soon as it starts up I get so wound up that I can't sleep and get so anxious and on edge that the urges start. Perhaps haloperidol and lorazepam would work, as they worked quite well for me when I was in hospital, but I hate the way I feel the next day on them.

I have sent an email to the agent asking him if it would be possible if he could send an email out to all tenants of the building reminding them of the terms of their contract. I said I don't want to make an official complaint but if it came to it I would.

I am also feeling shit about other stuff and because I am so tired I can't deal with it.

There's always something isn't there. Nothing is ever going smoothly.

Seeing the psychologist later. Not sure how I feel about today's appointment.