In Hospital

I've been in hospital since Sunday evening. I've nipped home at the moment on the pretence of doing a few things but in reality I have been to different pharmacies to pick up different prescriptions I am owed. Not to kill myself, but to get that nice spaced out feeling I get when I take a certain pill in excess. It's not going that well really. I have been really struggling. I was put on a 5.2 last night. But the doctor this morning talked me in to staying. He said I could go if I wanted but he didn't really advise it and if I did he wouldn't be able to help. He said he wasn't going to arrange an MHA assessment as he didn't feel that putting me under a section would help me.

I don't know. Maybe it's what I actually want. I can't deal with having any responsibility myself. Pretty obvious considering where I am now after having just done what I have done. I want to pass all control over to someone else. I can't deal with it at the moment. I suppose in a way I was goading him to section me, because I wanted someone to take that control. That's not good is it?

Anyway, was just a quick update. Even though they know I am at home I feel as though I shouldn't be and am very anxious. So, I am going to go back to the hospital.

If you use KIK - katmoss84